How Couples Can Talk About Financial Problems Without Arguing

We are LIVE from Dr. Laura Dabney’s Virginia Beach Office!! we are Live!!  hey everyone Dr. Dabney and Joelle Brant here we are just starting to get used to using Facebook live so if we start starting your first ever Facebook live woohoo there is something we are actually excited about right now we actually do pretty good news but I get a talk to a reporter at Huffington Post yesterday about how patients can have people couples can talk about financial problems without arguing so that’s good and that’ll be out we’re gonna get the link for that soon so we’ll share that as soon as we have it awesome I’m excited actually Joelle has other news she’s not sharing she’s showing off her new hairstyle I did yes I did I got my where’s the fair coz mine’s a mess I did I actually went to escape blow-dry bar and salon on Laskin Road on Virginia Beach and Yolanda right did my hair you know I’ll definitely link her in on this but yeah I see the before and after I’ll send you guys and share the before now sure I did I did play will talk to you on Tuesday were you know Tuesday and Thursdays live and thanks for joining us        

Destroying your child’s self esteem in the name of “good parenting”

hello everybody and happy Tuesday I’m Dr. Laura Dabney relationship psychiatrist coming to you live. I usually talk about intimate relationships between obviously boyfriend/girlfriend husband/wife type of things but this month we’re talking about parenting. The toughest job you’ll never never be thanked for and this has brought up a lot of comments and a lot of talk around here so that’s all good. so I thought we would continue on from last week and talk this time about self esteem.  there’s a lot of people come in with the wrong impression of what good parenting is thinking that it’s going to create a great person or a great relationship and in fact these methods hurt your child’s self-esteem or keeps the self-esteem from growing so although executive helping executive men with their intimate relationships is my thing as I’ve told you here several times and I’ll just keep saying it this is my way of helping anybody who is having emotional problems relationship struggles of any kind this is a way to make you feel more comfortable give you some help until you’re ready to come in pick up the phone call email however you reach out to us all right and I also do than the men come in about relationship problems often times it is with a adolescent child or a young adult child so that’s where I’ve gotten all this information synthesizing it all for you here today and this month so the parenting techniques that seem good to some people or seem good on the surface that really aren’t start with the good soldier technique maybe because we’re in a military community I don’t know but there are a lot of parents who think that the child who is obedient yes sir no sir type that that’s a that’s a good kid right there and there’s nothing wrong with bad manners who not saying and manners is something you need to teach a child for sure but an obedient child is not a good shot I actually cringe when somebody comes in and the child’s in college and they’ve been a ok the whole time because that means the child has not be able to practice the other thing that they need to be well-developed human beings that can be in a relationship and that is their aggressive skills ok you by making them by …

Boundary Setting

Boundary Setting and why they are important in all relationships. It’s the Joelle show now we’re gonna do this okay hi sorry missed you guys on Tuesday we were having bad internet issues had to do hard reset and it took a while so we missed last week or last Tuesday yeah we missed the mystery on Tuesday and that was a real pain you were on a video conference I was and I kept gonna kicked on and off it was the worst and I was on a phone call so we’re sort spend it on damn it now yeah so I’m Laura Dabney and this Joelle Brandt and we we help men with their emotional and relationship problems yeah I’m a psychotherapist and relationship coach and we’ve talked about our goal being to help people get over their fear of picking up the phone or coming to the door or even emailing anything right because there’s a lot of misconceptions about what we do so we’re bringing you into the office here tell you a little bit about the process what it’s like yeah what we do to hopefully get that fear you know eased or having nothing yeah either fears of us yeah basically so we what did we talk about we’ve we’ve touched on anger neediness sadness just negative emotions being normal yeah I’ve talked about that that’s important to normalize those yeah there’s some people think are bad wrong and then the other is well if people think is good could be not so good such as altruism that has gone awry basically altruism that had having secrets strings attached yep they don’t people don’t know about rock they don’t understand so that can go that definitely can go wrong in a relationship yes pretty quickly and so what’s what else what other aha moments do we one that I think people have trouble with boundary setting well that’s a good one because people think boundaries are bad sometimes correct but we’re always teaching what’s this thing I say good boundaries make good relationships that’s right yes right but people think it’s mean because well what would my patients think it’s mean because it’s think it’s a separating thing yeah which it is but sometimes that’s it’s a need I mean boundaries are very important um and then also to me when it comes to …

Robo Man Syndrome, When Men Don’t Emote

Men Do Not Emote.  Well, SOME men. Robo Man Syndrome When Men Do Not Emote.  This is a common issue that comes up.   We are live and back but we missed you last week.    Oh my goodness our internet,  it went down again.   But we do have a new IT company!   Hopefully they will do better shout out to NtegraIT who did come by  and fix everything. hopefully that will be resolved, we have missed  you! we’re all set to go and we realized we didn’t introduce ourselves.  I’m Dr. Laura Dabney this is Joelle Brant we both work with executive men help them with their relationships.  We help the robo man syndrome men who do not emote.  so we have talked about a lot of things over the last several weeks. Wow at least a month yeah we’ve talked about emotions and how they sometimes men like  to protect themselves from emotions in ways it might not be a good idea. yeah like pathological altruism and doing everything for everyone at the expense of yourself not be at boundaries. we talked about boundaries more popular ones we talked about panic and anxiety yes phobias oh yeah Joelle’s phobia . I did kill an ant yesterday so maybe I’m making progress.  Well I’ve been talking we’ve both been talking with Dr. Jed diamond and I am  really fond of him.  he is a psychologist who works outside of San Francisco and he played a big role in helping us understand men’s emotions.   he has a very similar clientele to us.   so we really have a lot in common and it’s been a joy to talk with him he actually wrote the book male menopause back in the 70s and since then he’s gotten interested in what he calls irritable man syndrome.   which is basically men who feel the only emotion they’re allowed to have is anger.   okay so if they’re hurt they’re angry, if they’re sad they’re angry, you know everything else  come out that’s anger!  so that’s been a really interesting.  so that’s what he sees the most that’s what he sees a lot of.  that’s what we’ve been writing about. I was telling about what I see and what we talked about which is Robo man and it’s a little different than irritable man but along the same lines where men often feel that any kind of emoting is negative or effeminate or …