Relationship Patterns and Passivity Part 2

Relationship Patterns and Passivity back hi relationship psychiatrist dr. Laura Dabney relationship coach Joelle brands we’re continuing our chat on toxic relationship patterns this is a good one because people come to us and say something’s wrong with my relationship I’m unhappy with it but they’re not able to say what’s going on yeah except for maybe you know some details here and there but they’re not able to see the overall picture correct right so we’re always encouraging you to I think people call it coming out of the weeds stepping above the weeds and looking in you know what’s going on yes so last week was sort of our on the intro to issues intro to issues right basically aggressive toxic aggressive patterns are toxic now we talked about constructive aggression being boundary setting but then last week we talked about destructive aggression which hurts the relationship and just briefly those are criticizing helping when you’ve not been asked controlling controlling something trying to get someone on the same page as you not letting someone be on a separate package so today I said we were gonna talk about something that’s less obvious and that is passivity yeah I mean how many times have people come in and say well I just let him have his way because then there wouldn’t be a fight it’s just easier it’s just easier and I say is this easy okay you haven’t described one thing that’s easy or they get their way but then you’re so angry and then it manifests in a different way and that’s destructive passivity so a lot of people think passivity is kind and will get people to love you if I just let everybody have their way they’re gonna love me so much but it never happens it doesn’t work that way so there is constructive passive and then there’s destructive passivity I had people looking at me then when I say that like I’ve got to frickin heads right like when we say the Browns are gonna win the Super Bowl right that’s that kind of stupid statement it does not work let’s think about it for a second your poor husband my poor husband’s a Browns fan so he could move along we’re in the season of bargain in the bargaining season that oh yes the season of hope now in the bargaining …

Stop Always Picking the Wrong Partner!

stop picking the wrong partner and why you may be doing it we’re live!  hi we’re back getting settled. Laura Dabney relationship psychotherapist and Joelle Brant Relationship coach. We are  here talking to you about the problems we see every day and that we want to share with you. As a result, maybe we can give you help across the airwaves as opposed to you coming in or picking up the phone.   we’d rather you pick up the phone and come in but some people are really afraid. So, if you come in maybe we can help you here.    we’ve noticed that a lot so we’re trying to ease your anxiety about coming in. Since we started, you know we’ve been talking about several things that have come to our attention or we’ve gotten requests from certain people to discuss some topics.    I was telling Joelle that I’ve had several requests now to talk about the topic why do I keep picking the wrong partner we laugh because that’s a very common concern issue yeah all the above yep that people call about or come in about all the time so we know that’s a ubiquitous problem and I don’t know if there’s really one answer right probably multi fold reasons or it could be one reason for someone another reason for another but it usually kind of comes down to a few tendencies I think or a combination of these tendencies that we’ve touched on before but maybe we talked about the combination how it’s like a lethal combination of tendencies so we talked about red flags right so there are people who have obvious obvious obvious problems with relationships or relating to people and there are people who miss those red flags yeah they don’t want to see them for one reason or another we usually talk about those red flags sort of I’ve written paper where they listed 50 of them so instead of doing that they tend to fall into these these categories one being self-care mm-hmm I’m not able to care for themselves and that could be can’t hold a job self-mutilate sore self harms those kind of things like always being late is one thing right that I’m late ya know that y’all mentioned right that often leads to well that sometimes leads to not be able to care for himself right now you have …

The REAL Definition of Intimacy

The REAL Definition of Intimacy and how to achieve it we’ll start it I it’s this Tuesday Oh seed now I’m not the only one that gets today’s wrong think about we have big news to talk about on Thursday so I think that’s where I hit that yes stay tuned for that yeah thank you for that so what are we gonna talk about today well Laura Dabney psychotherapist. Joelle Brant relationship  coach. we’ve been talking about how to get people over the hump of coming in to get help for their relationships yes we never get her right I’m a low talker I’ve been told most about my husband is one of the counties here usually that’s selective so what gets people over the hump of coming in or afraid to come in people are embarrassed ashamed and we’re on a mission but is that too strong on a mission to get the people who are suffering to come in sooner because we’ve noticed that when people but some people come in here or call us they’ve been suffering for too long. two years decades and we just think that’s completely unnecessary so we’re we chat about what we do and you’re invited into my office so hopefully that makes it a little easier for you yes and then you had some idea yeah the one thing that I thought would be something interesting to talk about is intimacy yeah we do deal with a lot of couples married couples people in long like long term relationships where I think a lot of times people don’t really understand what true intimacy is or they have a lot of you know they have their ideas of what it is but Dr. Dabney has taught me along the lines of what the the real and true definition of an intimacy could be yeah girl I miss a lot of misconceptions that gets them in trouble so our niche here is helping executive men with relationship problems and so this is how we’ve heard about all of the mists that are out there and then I’d help people overcome those myths to make get the relationship back on track yeah I guess that’s what it is and I think we started talking about the broader definition of intimacy people think it means sex typically but the broader definition is transparency yeah that’s …

Red and Pink Flags!

red and pink flags when it comes to people and their behaviors hey guys now it’s Thursday I know I saw I get my days except you but this is why because we’re introducing you to my Richmond office and for you know those of you that don’t know me I’m Tyler I’m the coach here in Richmond I’m still dr. dabney I just oh yeah we’ve been working really really hard on this office so we need her and it’s really really really excited because tomorrow is their grand opening so if you’re in the Richmond area and Glen allen just a little north of Richmond so if you’re in the area you stop by yes you tomorrow 4:00 to 6:00 we’re having catered heavy hors d’oeuvres yes cocktails and you can come and meet us and see our beautiful new office which was designed by the same designer who did 3rd in each office yes who is this rockstars wonderful goodness gracious our friends and in decorator it’s amazing mr. Nick Monique Rizzo yes we can’t leave out John John’s her husband who is the architect of that team and he does help her yes behind the scenes yes Missy oh my goodness I’m gonna do a quick tour yeah I make you nauseous maybe it’s a great idea you want to show you the whole office you’re all she’s gonna die you gotta come see it in person yes that’s why we need to come and see the cool sculpture on the wall there yeah great job so we’re in love with the space and we will be welcoming doctors here tomorrow night and other guests you start seeing patients here for the first time we’re really excited very excited and we’ll be doing you know the same things here as the Virginia Beach office offering coaching services there as well as therapy with dr. Dabney so it’s going to be a good time we’re very excited about this new office I’m just ecstatic it’s others my joelle version here in Richmond and I would have been telling people is that we are trying to break down those barriers that keep people from coming in the door yes and a party is a good way to do that but also we’ve been talking about different things that we have heard that have kept people coming in such …