Beyond Boundaries– Simple Fixes for your Relationship Problems

we’re back it’s voting Tuesday we are here to talk  Beyond Boundaries and give  Simple Fixes for Your Relationship Problems absolutely yes so we’re not here to help you with the political problems because that can get kind of fiery but we do have some tips on how to fix your relationship problems.  these are the quicker tips we give beyond just boundary setting which is huge! But we have talked about boundary setting quite a bit but it’s here is our introduction.  I’m Doctor Dabney relationship psychiatrist and this is Joelle Brant relationship coach. We’re here to try to help you be a little less, you know, weird about coming in to see us or anybody to help you with your emotional relationship problems.  This is  sort of like us opening our front door and saying come on in this is let me talk about this what we do this our imperfections and hopefully make you a bit more comfortable. so we have talked about boundary setting and we’ve discussed the basic boundary setting method is “I feel X when you do Y so I need you to please stop.” there’s some other quick down and dirty statements you can make to stop some troublesome patterns in your relationship. so we thought we’d go over those today. the one we talk about a lot is walking away but a little part to that you have to add that’s because walking away is a little passive-aggressive if you’re in the middle of something or your partner is in the middle of something and you walk away you’re gonna stir them up because they’re not gonna know where you are  or why you just left. Or if  you coming back, that’s sort of hurtful to them so we talked about using a bridge statement. right,  you can say I’m gonna leave this is getting a little too much but let’s revisit it after dinner. Exactly so that little statement keeps it from being torture for the other person okay now there are times when walking away without a statement is appropriate so the first example walking away with a bridge statement is if someone’s being inappropriately aggressive name-calling you know yeah the other yelling gets to be too high whenever you get to that you know that anxiety discomfort like mmm it’s not working for me check in later okay but …

Boundary Setting

Boundary Setting and why they are important in all relationships. It’s the Joelle show now we’re gonna do this okay hi sorry missed you guys on Tuesday we were having bad internet issues had to do hard reset and it took a while so we missed last week or last Tuesday yeah we missed the mystery on Tuesday and that was a real pain you were on a video conference I was and I kept gonna kicked on and off it was the worst and I was on a phone call so we’re sort spend it on damn it now yeah so I’m Laura Dabney and this Joelle Brandt and we we help men with their emotional and relationship problems yeah I’m a psychotherapist and relationship coach and we’ve talked about our goal being to help people get over their fear of picking up the phone or coming to the door or even emailing anything right because there’s a lot of misconceptions about what we do so we’re bringing you into the office here tell you a little bit about the process what it’s like yeah what we do to hopefully get that fear you know eased or having nothing yeah either fears of us yeah basically so we what did we talk about we’ve we’ve touched on anger neediness sadness just negative emotions being normal yeah I’ve talked about that that’s important to normalize those yeah there’s some people think are bad wrong and then the other is well if people think is good could be not so good such as altruism that has gone awry basically altruism that had having secrets strings attached yep they don’t people don’t know about rock they don’t understand so that can go that definitely can go wrong in a relationship yes pretty quickly and so what’s what else what other aha moments do we one that I think people have trouble with boundary setting well that’s a good one because people think boundaries are bad sometimes correct but we’re always teaching what’s this thing I say good boundaries make good relationships that’s right yes right but people think it’s mean because well what would my patients think it’s mean because it’s think it’s a separating thing yeah which it is but sometimes that’s it’s a need I mean boundaries are very important um and then also to me when it comes to …