How to Avoid Raising a Narcissist or Sociopath

Let’s talk about narcissism and sociopaths. Specifically, how to avoid raising a narcissist or sociopath. I thought I’d combine the two and help teach you how to avoid raising a narcissist or sociopath. How to avoid raising a narcissist or sociopath You don’t want to deal with narcissists or sociopaths anywhere; you certainly don’t want your child to have that kind of problem. Narcissism and sociopathy are descriptive titles of personality disorders. The larger group is personality disorders. Personality disorders are defined as not monsters and horrible people that you hear in the media, but we define personality problem as somebody who has difficulty with intimate relationships. I know it makes no sense. Personality disorder does not mean you have a bad personality; in fact, sociopaths often have lovely personalities; it’s part of their trick, part of the manipulation. The definition means you have not just the typical trouble with intimate relationships that we all have but the extreme problems. Such as, you can’t maintain long-standing intimate relationships. What goes into maintaining long-standing intimate relationships? That way, you can maintain long-term relationships, and you don’t have a personality disorder and therefore are not by definition a narcissist or a sociopath. How to how to raise a child who does not have a personality disorder, means you have to understand what goes behind that. Understanding what the foundation is of maintaining intimate relationships. The key here is to have a good sense in capabilities to give and take, you can give and take. Another way of putting that is to have a good capacity to control yourself and to put up boundaries with the other person. Notice, I didn’t say control yourself and control others. A big problem parents have is controlling themselves and putting up boundaries, which helps a child control themselves. Also, the capacity to change your parenting style as the child grows up. So many parents are using the same techniques for punishment and discipline when the child’s a teenager as when the child was three. Makes no sense, right? But it happens all the time. Three areas to focus on: Controlling yourself Putting up a boundary with a child Changing your parenting techniques Controlling yourself (taking care of yourself). There are lots of things that children do that they need to do, to have healthy self-esteem, to feel autonomous, to feel grown-up, to feel separate from their …

Sociopaths and Narcissists

How to Deal With The Sociopaths and The Narcissists in Your Life In other words, how to deal with the difficult people in your life I think it came out of Lee I think the one reason why we thought it was important to talk about is actually dr. Dabney has been talking to a lot reporters and featured in a few different articles about sociopaths and narcissists just because it’s something that she deals with a little more than me but it’s definitely something where I’m learning a lot from her but it’s really important because you just sometimes you don’t see it as a person who was never really thought about it or thought the tools to kind of see these flags you know listening to her talk to the reporters reading the articles it was like you know you need to tell everyone yeah it’s a big topic so we were kind of surprised but we must have had three or four reporters wanted to speak to me about narcissist or sociopaths now one of the one of the reporters said there’s a youtube war going on with somebody somebody’s saying somebody else is a narcissist no he’s a sociopath and we were trying to figure that out so that was kind of fun and I don’t know what those YouTube things are so if that’s so then stay tuned and you can learn something here but so the difference mainly is but that’s what people always want to know the difference sociopaths are equated to monsters and narcissists are equated to full of themselves or stuck-up yes and I guess that’s that’s kind of true yeah sociopath says we term the proper term for that is antisocial personality disorder that does not mean you don’t like to go to parties mm-hm antisocial personality disorder means essentially that you’re a criminal okay and then the sociopath is the laypersons term for that let me use that term sociopath – but basically it’s somebody who it’s not they just don’t just break the law but breaking the law is a way for them to get distance from people they can’t do relationships this is a this is a truism that a lot of people don’t understand not everybody can do relationships they can take them right that’s the problem they don’t realize if it’s unconscious people I mean …

Why can’t we enjoy the holidays without the meltdown??

hi everybody it is Tuesday right yes it is Tuesday I don’t have Joelle with me today though because we were crazy busy all day now she has to go pick up her kids so I’m coming to you live alone this time so it’s nice to see you all I been wanting to talk about the holiday meltdown okay since before Thanksgiving because so many people come to me with this history of going going going going going and then crashing and so I typically don’t hear about the crash till after the crash right so they everybody goes off to their holidays a breeze fine and then they come back uh uh you know with all the complaints and frustrations so we don’t want you to do that this year as I always tell my patients how about we think about the things that are coming up not just the things that have passed and if you have this history of melting down I just wanted to talk to you about that and you know who you are it doesn’t mean you have to it doesn’t it’s not going to take something away from the holidays to think about this in advance we’re gonna add something the holiday is by doing a preemptive strike I was called it’s pre interest rate preemptive strike here we’re gonna solve this before it happens okay and then make the holiday a whole lot better not only for you but everybody else so what I’ve found over the 20 years of doing this is that that meltdown tends to always come because of a imbalance okay so there’s that I’m doing everything and nobody else is doing anything imbalance right sound familiar right this distance and this he’s not doing that she’s not doing that she’s getting her nails done and I’m doing oh okay so you start doing that in your head you know it’s a problem so we’re gonna talk about all the reasons why that balance comes up for starters you are probably doing this all in your head okay so you get caught up in their traditions in the pressure from society maybe some pressure from the family and you go right into right the mood holidays and whatever holiday it is I’m gonna go into the mode and not think stop and think okay thinking caps on …

Beyond Boundaries– Simple Fixes for your Relationship Problems

we’re back it’s voting Tuesday we are here to talk  Beyond Boundaries and give  Simple Fixes for Your Relationship Problems absolutely yes so we’re not here to help you with the political problems because that can get kind of fiery but we do have some tips on how to fix your relationship problems.  these are the quicker tips we give beyond just boundary setting which is huge! But we have talked about boundary setting quite a bit but it’s here is our introduction.  I’m Doctor Dabney relationship psychiatrist and this is Joelle Brant relationship coach. We’re here to try to help you be a little less, you know, weird about coming in to see us or anybody to help you with your emotional relationship problems.  This is  sort of like us opening our front door and saying come on in this is let me talk about this what we do this our imperfections and hopefully make you a bit more comfortable. so we have talked about boundary setting and we’ve discussed the basic boundary setting method is “I feel X when you do Y so I need you to please stop.” there’s some other quick down and dirty statements you can make to stop some troublesome patterns in your relationship. so we thought we’d go over those today. the one we talk about a lot is walking away but a little part to that you have to add that’s because walking away is a little passive-aggressive if you’re in the middle of something or your partner is in the middle of something and you walk away you’re gonna stir them up because they’re not gonna know where you are  or why you just left. Or if  you coming back, that’s sort of hurtful to them so we talked about using a bridge statement. right,  you can say I’m gonna leave this is getting a little too much but let’s revisit it after dinner. Exactly so that little statement keeps it from being torture for the other person okay now there are times when walking away without a statement is appropriate so the first example walking away with a bridge statement is if someone’s being inappropriately aggressive name-calling you know yeah the other yelling gets to be too high whenever you get to that you know that anxiety discomfort like mmm it’s not working for me check in later okay but …

Are You Self Sabotaging Your Intimate Relationship? Find Out!

  Self sabotaging your intimate relationship, are you doing it? Today they discuss the question, are you self sabotaging your intimate relationship without knowing? Sometimes we do not realize we are self sabotaging.  We’re back, it must be Tuesday! Yes! Dr. Laura Dabney relationship psychiatrist with Joelle Brant relationship coach and we are here this is our welcome mat to help you everybody out there who is maybe shy or embarrassed or ashamed to get help for an emotional or relationship problem yeah we’re trying to make that go away in short we help executive men with their relationship problems but you know we like everybody to feel comfortable with this process so here we are and we’ve been talking about the hidden relationship patterns that are hurting your relationships that are toxic okay so in general if there’s a so we’re going to talk about a relationship patterns we’re not talking about arguments okay this is a little different this is the ongoing what do you want basic low-grade problems that you just haven’t addressed issues are concerned that you keep quiet about just because you don’t want to make waves exactly you don’t rock the boat or you can put it off another time so the feelings are not I mean it can be anger but typically we’re talking about feelings that are more subtle like walking on eggshells or being annoyed or bored even if it’s a big one yeah that’s going on guess what it’s your problem how many times we have people come in say my husband and my wife she just goes that other than their problems their problems look if there’s a chronic problem in your relationship either you’re causing it or you’re not stopping it not addressing it is a problem it’s exactly exactly and it keeps it going so it’s a problem so you don’t have to change the spouse that’s the good news you can change how you’re dealing with this pattern we’re not dealing with it and stop it okay and the reason so the reason why I would say people don’t tip do this if people are caught in a rut and have not addressed it in a way to get to stop it it’s because they value one  approach over the other right they approach either the aggressive they value either the aggressive approach or the passive …