The Secret Reason we Keep Letting ‘Em Get the Best of Us

hi it’s not Tuesday no we were here on Tuesday but as good as Joelle looks she sounds terrible hi guys I have  laryngitis going on this is actually better than yesterday!  so we wanted to wait see if Joelle’s voice came back otherwise I gotta be ventriloquist for you little whiteboard I’ll start writing things down so I’ve Doc Laura dad I was forget the intro dr. Lorenz I have any relationship psychiatrists Joe well Brandon relationship coach and we’re here what we do is we help executive men with their relationship problems but we’re here and as a way to help people be less tend to do less poorly Timman therapist nervous about coming in to get help when you have an emotional relationship problem because as we say every time people nobody leaves without saying I wish I’d done this earlier right so don’t be that person come on in this is our welcome mat we’re talking you in this is who we are is what we do it’s what we chat about every day so we’re decided we wanted to talk about why people ask us these questions all the time in session you know why why don’t why do I keep letting him take me over or call over me walk all over me why can I stand up for myself right you know what these kind of and people often bring up self esteem and self esteem is part of it but there’s a secret reason that we see oh all the time and I call it well I call these the enemy emotions okay so there are people who don’t see their emotions as normal natural biological yeah but more that they divided them up into there are good emotions and bad emotions and they’re since bad emotions they shouldn’t feel them or wrong yeah not just uncomfortable but they were actually wrong right they’re wrong they’re they’re the enemy so the emotion becomes the enemy yeah and it distracts them from the problem actually ironically so if there’s a problem or a person’s a problem they see they feel anger and then suddenly that’s bad that’s wrong it’s mean well half a dozen reasons why they can’t let that be in their head I mean we just how about your head not how am I saying anything at this point I’m just …

Why Do We Always Give More Than We Get??

Hi I am  Dr. Laura Dabney relationship psychiatrist almost forgot my name! This is relationship coach Joelle Brant and we hope you had a fabulous Thanksgiving and I just realized we haven’t even talked about yeah so how was your Thanksgiving good family in town everyone together I feel like I gained a million pounds but good how’s yours good I had family in town and a friend giving friends giving Thanksgiving friends giving so best of both worlds that’s great it was really great and I had your mom’s cake always a huge success truly I’m a foodie people know everybody follows me on Instagram knows my foodie have that kicks of pastry chefs all around the world hmm her mom’s cake is by far everybody comments on I raised about it yes you do it’s good so it’s good beyond that look the Lola list for food is a coveted position whatever I need to do to hold on to that we are here talking about why okay so we tend to talk to people that say since we’re talking about Lola well we have questions this is our welcome at putting out to you anybody who’s squirrelly about coming in meeting help for emotional relationship problems we’re trying to fix that because really I challenge you to find anybody who’s been super successful that they didn’t have a mentor or a guide of some sort so it’s it’s no different you know you have a problem we’re here you’re there just need to give us a call or step in or listen to this we’ll see if we can help you but so we do have a lot of the same questions get asked and so those are the things we were dressing hoping that it reaches you or someone that you know know love and last we saw that we touched on this last week we tend to get a lot the question your why did why does everybody else always get their way or why why did people my lives seem to have a good life and I’m I don’t and we got to the bottom of that being anger is anger is usually an emotion that people want to discard or pretend they don’t have or have labeled it as the bad bad or the enemy emotion right so if you don’t have the …

Destroying your child’s self esteem in the name of “good parenting”

hello everybody and happy Tuesday I’m Dr. Laura Dabney relationship psychiatrist coming to you live. I usually talk about intimate relationships between obviously boyfriend/girlfriend husband/wife type of things but this month we’re talking about parenting. The toughest job you’ll never never be thanked for and this has brought up a lot of comments and a lot of talk around here so that’s all good. so I thought we would continue on from last week and talk this time about self esteem.  there’s a lot of people come in with the wrong impression of what good parenting is thinking that it’s going to create a great person or a great relationship and in fact these methods hurt your child’s self-esteem or keeps the self-esteem from growing so although executive helping executive men with their intimate relationships is my thing as I’ve told you here several times and I’ll just keep saying it this is my way of helping anybody who is having emotional problems relationship struggles of any kind this is a way to make you feel more comfortable give you some help until you’re ready to come in pick up the phone call email however you reach out to us all right and I also do than the men come in about relationship problems often times it is with a adolescent child or a young adult child so that’s where I’ve gotten all this information synthesizing it all for you here today and this month so the parenting techniques that seem good to some people or seem good on the surface that really aren’t start with the good soldier technique maybe because we’re in a military community I don’t know but there are a lot of parents who think that the child who is obedient yes sir no sir type that that’s a that’s a good kid right there and there’s nothing wrong with bad manners who not saying and manners is something you need to teach a child for sure but an obedient child is not a good shot I actually cringe when somebody comes in and the child’s in college and they’ve been a ok the whole time because that means the child has not be able to practice the other thing that they need to be well-developed human beings that can be in a relationship and that is their aggressive skills ok you by making them by …

Parenting mistakes for which you can let yourself off the hook

hello welcome to another Tuesday I’m Dr. Laura Dabney and we’ve been talking about parenting all month and we’ve been talking about things not to do as a parent things that look like a good idea but not to do as a parent so today I want to talk to you about things you can let go of as a parent the guilt over some mistake you may have made as a parent and how to let that go because guilt excessive guilt inappropriate guilt you can get in the way of your relationship with your child right if you’re feeling like you have to make something up or you have to explain or get them to finally I don’t know let you off the hook that’s gonna put a burden on your child that they don’t need so you can do this yourself and I’m gonna walk you through a couple of those but just again as a brief intro I’m dr. Laura Dabney a relationship psychiatrist and typically I deal with executive or professional men who are struggling with some relationship themselves but here I like to say I’m opening my door up to all of you anybody who is struggling with an emotional problem and still has trouble picking up that bone so I’m gonna step into your place or you can virtually step into my place and see what this is all about and see how I do things and hopefully that will ease you into treatment with somebody when you’re ready okay so today the parenting the guilt oh such a tough job that you can’t leave and people’s lives depend on it so pretty tricky so what are these subjects or problems that people come to me with baby themselves up and I’m trying to say no no no that’s it’s not as big a problem as you’re making it out one is the general topic of a loss of control so let’s say you may be yelled at your child or maybe you showed a strong emotion you know about something else they like you were angry at your spouse or an argument spilled over or you punched them for a longer time than you think you should have something like that where you let a little bit of overboard and you wish you hadn’t instead of beating yourself up over that remember …

Stop Always Picking the Wrong Partner!

stop picking the wrong partner and why you may be doing it we’re live!  hi we’re back getting settled. Laura Dabney relationship psychotherapist and Joelle Brant Relationship coach. We are  here talking to you about the problems we see every day and that we want to share with you. As a result, maybe we can give you help across the airwaves as opposed to you coming in or picking up the phone.   we’d rather you pick up the phone and come in but some people are really afraid. So, if you come in maybe we can help you here.    we’ve noticed that a lot so we’re trying to ease your anxiety about coming in. Since we started, you know we’ve been talking about several things that have come to our attention or we’ve gotten requests from certain people to discuss some topics.    I was telling Joelle that I’ve had several requests now to talk about the topic why do I keep picking the wrong partner we laugh because that’s a very common concern issue yeah all the above yep that people call about or come in about all the time so we know that’s a ubiquitous problem and I don’t know if there’s really one answer right probably multi fold reasons or it could be one reason for someone another reason for another but it usually kind of comes down to a few tendencies I think or a combination of these tendencies that we’ve touched on before but maybe we talked about the combination how it’s like a lethal combination of tendencies so we talked about red flags right so there are people who have obvious obvious obvious problems with relationships or relating to people and there are people who miss those red flags yeah they don’t want to see them for one reason or another we usually talk about those red flags sort of I’ve written paper where they listed 50 of them so instead of doing that they tend to fall into these these categories one being self-care mm-hmm I’m not able to care for themselves and that could be can’t hold a job self-mutilate sore self harms those kind of things like always being late is one thing right that I’m late ya know that y’all mentioned right that often leads to well that sometimes leads to not be able to care for himself right now you have …