Destroying your child’s self esteem in the name of “good parenting”

hello everybody and happy Tuesday I’m Dr. Laura Dabney relationship psychiatrist coming to you live. I usually talk about intimate relationships between obviously boyfriend/girlfriend husband/wife type of things but this month we’re talking about parenting. The toughest job you’ll never never be thanked for and this has brought up a lot of comments and a lot of talk around here so that’s all good. so I thought we would continue on from last week and talk this time about self esteem.  there’s a lot of people come in with the wrong impression of what good parenting is thinking that it’s going to create a great person or a great relationship and in fact these methods hurt your child’s self-esteem or keeps the self-esteem from growing so although executive helping executive men with their intimate relationships is my thing as I’ve told you here several times and I’ll just keep saying it this is my way of helping anybody who is having emotional problems relationship struggles of any kind this is a way to make you feel more comfortable give you some help until you’re ready to come in pick up the phone call email however you reach out to us all right and I also do than the men come in about relationship problems often times it is with a adolescent child or a young adult child so that’s where I’ve gotten all this information synthesizing it all for you here today and this month so the parenting techniques that seem good to some people or seem good on the surface that really aren’t start with the good soldier technique maybe because we’re in a military community I don’t know but there are a lot of parents who think that the child who is obedient yes sir no sir type that that’s a that’s a good kid right there and there’s nothing wrong with bad manners who not saying and manners is something you need to teach a child for sure but an obedient child is not a good shot I actually cringe when somebody comes in and the child’s in college and they’ve been a ok the whole time because that means the child has not be able to practice the other thing that they need to be well-developed human beings that can be in a relationship and that is their aggressive skills ok you by making them by …

Parenting mistakes for which you can let yourself off the hook

hello welcome to another Tuesday I’m Dr. Laura Dabney and we’ve been talking about parenting all month and we’ve been talking about things not to do as a parent things that look like a good idea but not to do as a parent so today I want to talk to you about things you can let go of as a parent the guilt over some mistake you may have made as a parent and how to let that go because guilt excessive guilt inappropriate guilt you can get in the way of your relationship with your child right if you’re feeling like you have to make something up or you have to explain or get them to finally I don’t know let you off the hook that’s gonna put a burden on your child that they don’t need so you can do this yourself and I’m gonna walk you through a couple of those but just again as a brief intro I’m dr. Laura Dabney a relationship psychiatrist and typically I deal with executive or professional men who are struggling with some relationship themselves but here I like to say I’m opening my door up to all of you anybody who is struggling with an emotional problem and still has trouble picking up that bone so I’m gonna step into your place or you can virtually step into my place and see what this is all about and see how I do things and hopefully that will ease you into treatment with somebody when you’re ready okay so today the parenting the guilt oh such a tough job that you can’t leave and people’s lives depend on it so pretty tricky so what are these subjects or problems that people come to me with baby themselves up and I’m trying to say no no no that’s it’s not as big a problem as you’re making it out one is the general topic of a loss of control so let’s say you may be yelled at your child or maybe you showed a strong emotion you know about something else they like you were angry at your spouse or an argument spilled over or you punched them for a longer time than you think you should have something like that where you let a little bit of overboard and you wish you hadn’t instead of beating yourself up over that remember …

Stop Always Picking the Wrong Partner!

stop picking the wrong partner and why you may be doing it we’re live!  hi we’re back getting settled. Laura Dabney relationship psychotherapist and Joelle Brant Relationship coach. We are  here talking to you about the problems we see every day and that we want to share with you. As a result, maybe we can give you help across the airwaves as opposed to you coming in or picking up the phone.   we’d rather you pick up the phone and come in but some people are really afraid. So, if you come in maybe we can help you here.    we’ve noticed that a lot so we’re trying to ease your anxiety about coming in. Since we started, you know we’ve been talking about several things that have come to our attention or we’ve gotten requests from certain people to discuss some topics.    I was telling Joelle that I’ve had several requests now to talk about the topic why do I keep picking the wrong partner we laugh because that’s a very common concern issue yeah all the above yep that people call about or come in about all the time so we know that’s a ubiquitous problem and I don’t know if there’s really one answer right probably multi fold reasons or it could be one reason for someone another reason for another but it usually kind of comes down to a few tendencies I think or a combination of these tendencies that we’ve touched on before but maybe we talked about the combination how it’s like a lethal combination of tendencies so we talked about red flags right so there are people who have obvious obvious obvious problems with relationships or relating to people and there are people who miss those red flags yeah they don’t want to see them for one reason or another we usually talk about those red flags sort of I’ve written paper where they listed 50 of them so instead of doing that they tend to fall into these these categories one being self-care mm-hmm I’m not able to care for themselves and that could be can’t hold a job self-mutilate sore self harms those kind of things like always being late is one thing right that I’m late ya know that y’all mentioned right that often leads to well that sometimes leads to not be able to care for himself right now you have …

The REAL Definition of Intimacy

The REAL Definition of Intimacy and how to achieve it we’ll start it I it’s this Tuesday Oh seed now I’m not the only one that gets today’s wrong think about we have big news to talk about on Thursday so I think that’s where I hit that yes stay tuned for that yeah thank you for that so what are we gonna talk about today well Laura Dabney psychotherapist. Joelle Brant relationship  coach. we’ve been talking about how to get people over the hump of coming in to get help for their relationships yes we never get her right I’m a low talker I’ve been told most about my husband is one of the counties here usually that’s selective so what gets people over the hump of coming in or afraid to come in people are embarrassed ashamed and we’re on a mission but is that too strong on a mission to get the people who are suffering to come in sooner because we’ve noticed that when people but some people come in here or call us they’ve been suffering for too long. two years decades and we just think that’s completely unnecessary so we’re we chat about what we do and you’re invited into my office so hopefully that makes it a little easier for you yes and then you had some idea yeah the one thing that I thought would be something interesting to talk about is intimacy yeah we do deal with a lot of couples married couples people in long like long term relationships where I think a lot of times people don’t really understand what true intimacy is or they have a lot of you know they have their ideas of what it is but Dr. Dabney has taught me along the lines of what the the real and true definition of an intimacy could be yeah girl I miss a lot of misconceptions that gets them in trouble so our niche here is helping executive men with relationship problems and so this is how we’ve heard about all of the mists that are out there and then I’d help people overcome those myths to make get the relationship back on track yeah I guess that’s what it is and I think we started talking about the broader definition of intimacy people think it means sex typically but the broader definition is transparency yeah that’s …

Red and Pink Flags!

red and pink flags when it comes to people and their behaviors hey guys now it’s Thursday I know I saw I get my days except you but this is why because we’re introducing you to my Richmond office and for you know those of you that don’t know me I’m Tyler I’m the coach here in Richmond I’m still dr. dabney I just oh yeah we’ve been working really really hard on this office so we need her and it’s really really really excited because tomorrow is their grand opening so if you’re in the Richmond area and Glen allen just a little north of Richmond so if you’re in the area you stop by yes you tomorrow 4:00 to 6:00 we’re having catered heavy hors d’oeuvres yes cocktails and you can come and meet us and see our beautiful new office which was designed by the same designer who did 3rd in each office yes who is this rockstars wonderful goodness gracious our friends and in decorator it’s amazing mr. Nick Monique Rizzo yes we can’t leave out John John’s her husband who is the architect of that team and he does help her yes behind the scenes yes Missy oh my goodness I’m gonna do a quick tour yeah I make you nauseous maybe it’s a great idea you want to show you the whole office you’re all she’s gonna die you gotta come see it in person yes that’s why we need to come and see the cool sculpture on the wall there yeah great job so we’re in love with the space and we will be welcoming doctors here tomorrow night and other guests you start seeing patients here for the first time we’re really excited very excited and we’ll be doing you know the same things here as the Virginia Beach office offering coaching services there as well as therapy with dr. Dabney so it’s going to be a good time we’re very excited about this new office I’m just ecstatic it’s others my joelle version here in Richmond and I would have been telling people is that we are trying to break down those barriers that keep people from coming in the door yes and a party is a good way to do that but also we’ve been talking about different things that we have heard that have kept people coming in such …