Want to know how to Avoid the holiday meltdown this year?
We’re talking about the holiday meltdown to hopefully set in new habits for the next holiday.
People struggle with the holidays because they’re so focused on pleasing others. By creating scenarios of how they think the holiday is going to go if they do not give others what they want.
There’s this fantasy that you’re going to hurt somebody, or someone is going to be angry or upset because you didn’t give them what they wanted. Children need to learn that they’re not going to get everything they want for the rest of their lives, and adults should certainly be able to handle this.
Let go of that fantasy, and see what really happens.
How to Handle the Holiday Meltdown
Start talking about the problem or the holiday meltdown in advance. Ask yourself, how the holiday went last year and what you can do now, to avoid the holiday going bad.
People get stuck in thinking they have to do a tradition or they’re going to feel bad later.
You can not fix a future problem later. The thought process, ” If I don’t see them now, then I am going to feel bad or guilty later.” You are going to feel guilty and sad later because that is a part of life.
What Causes the Holiday Meltdown?
There are feelings that people have labeled as bad, and feelings that people have labeled as good. There is no such thing. Anger, sadness, neediness are all normal. If you already have issues with these feelings, during the holidays they will get worse. If you think you can’t feel sad any other day of the week, you’re definitely going to think you shouldn’t feel sad during the holidays. That is nonsense, feelings don’t take a hiatus during the holidays, you have to allow yourself the time to process that emotion, whatever the enemy emotion is. There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying, I am going to go take a walk, or a nap- whatever it is that you need to do, to get that feeling processed.
If you can do this in advance, even better!
Maybe you get sad about the loss of a parent every holiday, or a child who can’t come home. Go ahead and say this in advance to your family members. Such as, “It turns out I get sad during the holidays, I am going to go ahead and take a break on Christmas Eve to have some time for myself.” Get this all up, out and resolved.
Unexpected things may come up, but you’ll be ready for it because you’re not going to be maxed out.
The key to all of this is intimacy over the holidays, the want to bond and get close with our loved ones. Giving and taking are both involved in intimacy.
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